New words from "From two years in the melting pot"

blurred: to make the difference between two things less clear, or to make it difficult to see the exact truth about something

saracsm: the use of remarks which clearly mean the opposite of what they say, and which are made in order to hurt someone's feelings or to criticize something in an amusing way

complacent: feeling so satisfied with your own abilities or situation that you feel you do not need to try any harder

A real hunger

Ever since I moved into the dorm, I have seen freshmen trying to be socialize, forming groups, seeking for clubs and communities. Individuals are thirsty for companion, starving for a sense of belonging, the same as Liu, the same as me and everybody else.

Liu, eventually, decided to move away from the McKnights to live with Chinese people, driven by the unbearable loneliness. Difference in culture, race and language made Liu feel like an outsider, or more exactly, is an outsider in America. That’s why he needs to be with other Chinese, being a normal person with his same race.

Sympathetic about his problem, I feel in the same way. Granted, my roommates treat me friendly, I am still alien to them, especially when they receive no response from me simply because I do not realize they are speaking to me. Difficulties in understanding a professional lecture may occur to me sometime in China, but in any events, responding or even greeting is never an obstacle when talking in Chinese. I must have been forming an image of an emotionless and speechless ghost, hanging around the dorm, silencing them to the point beyond tolerance. Having struggled several times to squeeze in their groups, it seems that the only things I could contribute is to let them slow down their speaking pace, listen to my opinion about their conversation which should have been ended a few minutes ago, and start over their present conversation without a simple reaction towards my words, like nodding. Loneliness is not about a lonely individual in solitude, but about a lonely individual who is exposed to a world of liveliness.

To be with people, even strangers, in our own country is a real hunger for belonging where everybody shares the same loneliness. People seek for similarities since differences and bizarreness always torture them to the point of depression. However this is a double-edged sword. Since we determine to study aboard for a better comprehension of American culture, it will be meaningless if we stick with people in our own country. Living in a different culture tend to shapes us to be lonely men, but how to be a positive lonely person with dreams fulfilled at the end is all depends on ourselves.

Blog 3 “Nonverbal Communication”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have played this song,” said Erin, my roommate.
“Why? I love it, really,” I felt surprised.
“I thought you didn’t like it since last time I asked you to dance with me, you seemed so reluctant.”
Words stuck in my throat, because I had no idea how to express how awkward I felt when dancing with her in front of all the people in my dorm.
This experience is just one of the misunderstandings I have encountered in University of Delaware. Ranging from gestures, eye contact to body space, nonverbal differences are all around.
Americans tend to make lots of gesture in public, even exaggerated ones, to express their feeling, while Chinese people seldom use them. It seems that Americans are trying to be humorous and easy-going in public, whereas Chinese prefers solemnness and profession.
As for eye contact, it seems that Chinese are mostly afraid of having eye contact, not only with strangers but individuals we care and love. When walking down the street, Chinese people are more likely to avoid eye contact intentionally or at most throw a quick glance at strangers, since it’s rude to look straight into others’ eyes. Out of a sense of shyness and embarrassment, averting eyes also occurs between lovers when they are . Instead, American may feel easy and more confident to greet strangers to the point of even confusing me that they were actually acquaint with each other.
In addition, Americans are more sensitive towards body space, though Chinese people also highlight appropriate body space. In China, especially cities with dense population, like Beijing, awareness of body space turns to be weaker and individuals will not ask for more space particularly since public places are mostly crammed with people, . In contrast, what impressive me most in America is that people often say “Excuse me” even though they are miles away.
Though differences vary, one thing is still in common, that is, smile. No matter where we go, this universal expression is always the easiest way to show kindness.
Above all, nonverbal communication can be totally different from one country to another. Developing awareness of how to speak these silent languages is critical for us to embrace a different culture.

Blog writing Assignment #2 Option 2

Chinese people tend to hide their emotions, especially negative emotions in public. Even though recent youth has been more socialized and outward, there is always a traditional stereotype curving in mind, namely, humble is the true virtue, showing yourself too much results in a bad impression from others of being frivolous and superficial. This culture causes to a less and less exhibition of personal sorrow and joy, which may sometimes be misunderstood by westerners.
I still remember when I watched a show with my friends on Warner Bros. Movie World in 2006, the host was trying to have audience involved by encouraging each part of the arena to shout out to become more energetic. When came to our part where almost all the Chinese students were sitting, compared to foreigners’ booming and high-pitched voices, ours sounded like a crowd that was murmuring our complaints, unwilling and quite, which do disappointed the host. Reading from his eye, I could sense how bewildered he was, wondering why Chinese people could be such stony towards his amazing show. No offence to behave but we just felt embarrassed and shy to show joy among strangers. If the same occasion occurred back in China, people would look at them at the same way as this host did with an opposite reason, wondering why they could feel easy with these exaggerated voice and expression. Same phenomenon can be seen on the train. I had once seen two foreigners kissing in an overcrowded coach without the awareness that everybody was watching them, weird, the same goes for hugging. Strictly speaking, what we can accept is just holding hand.

In general, we always restrict ourselves to too intimate behaviors in public, leaving tears and sorrow to the family, best friends or just ourselves.

Response Log to “Mother Tongue”

Language differences can be seen when individuals adopt different attitudes towards different issues or persons. The more respect or alienation we show, the more formal our language could transform.
Language in our generation turns out to be more modernized and informal than our parents’ ageto the point of misunderstanding. In my country, in order to show respect, peers prefer to hide themselves from those slang and jargon in front of their parents. Bad grammar may be appeared in conversations, but under most circumstances, peers speak properly and live up to their parents’ expectation to be qualified people. For me, slang will be chosen delicately before slipping out of my mouth. Words that regarded as dirty words or have too much interjection which indicates a casual attitude will never exist in our conversation. I had once been joking with my mother and unconsciously slipped out a sentence that could be really offensive from my parents’ viewpoint, but humor among our generation. My mother was so shock, acting like she had eventually found out who her girl really was. From then on, I will never attempt to take risk on that any more.
As for a formal situation, people tend to behave more cultured. Verbs are always translated into abstract nouns, definitions substituted for examples, slang replaced with literary phrases, cluttered sentences organized to be highly-structured paragraphs. However, recognizing who is the audience is critical since communicating in formal way at a casual environment always end up with a bad relationship.
To recapitulate, speak properly in a proper occasion. That's the way to the success in making relationship.

Who am I

My name is Liu Yifei, born and grown up in Beijing China. Most of people give their first impression to me as a shy, stable and conservative girl, but words taken back after a long-term companion. This is me, a girl with external meticulousness and internal determination. Personally, speaking on public is always the last thing I would do in my whole life, even till now, after several times trial. You can hardly begin to imagine how upset and nervous I was when chosen to be the contestant in a high school speech contest held in Beijing in 2005. Rehearsal had been done for millions of times, both the speech and the foreseeable failure in my presentation. Even though there was no way that any words could be forgotten technically, I still sensed the tense silence if my mind was blank unexpectedly. However when I walked up on the stage, the blank, as I had already predicted, was not about the forgotten phrases, but concentration that let go of all the fears and trust myself that I could do that. First time it was that I found myself so determined when encountered difficulties and this new exploration of myself really add more confidence to my further participation in speech and presentation. For the sake of the same reason, I decide to challenge myself to have college study overseas. I can imagine how miserable I could be when getting stuck in culture conflict, how helpless to be away from my dear family and friends in China. Even till now I cannot figure out the way to cope with them, but it worth a try. Just like the way I did on the stage, I believe in myself and the possibility of being a more independent and educated person by the means of my four-year hard work and persistence.

The open ceremony

WELCOME TO MY NEVERLAND！ HOPE U ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY！